I'll Vote No
by sillybella
Summary: Inside Rosalie's head.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

I believe that Rosalie is a truly fascinating and complex character.

Thanks to Lakegirl for a super beta.

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_**I'll Vote No**_

By sillybella

I'm a paradox. An oxymoron. A beautiful monster. Because I was beautiful, I was made a vampire. Because I'm a vampire, I became even more beautiful. That's why Carlisle picked me. He knew Edward loves beautiful things.

I didn't have any voice in the decision. For that matter, neither did Edward. But we both figured things out pretty fast. Talk about your blind date from Hell.

Edward had recently returned from his prodigal days, welcomed back into the fold by Esme and Carlisle. Instead of a fatted calf, they killed me. Well, they didn't exactly kill me; I was dying already, but close enough. First a burning pain raged through my body, and then I woke up, part of a strange, new family. I lost my mother, my father, my little brothers. I loved my family. My real family.

I've come to love my adopted family, as well, but it isn't the same. In the beginning, Carlisle was kind and Esme loving, but Edward was just arrogant. I was the present he couldn't return to the store. He found me beautiful, yes. Still does. They all do. But he listened inside my head and decided I was shallow. Superficial.

Maybe I am, but we're more alike than he's willing to admit – and I'm not just talking about our love of fast cars. I may be vain, but I'm not oblivious. We're both beautiful monsters, and we know it.

It isn't as if Edward doesn't have his own glut of pride. He's pretty. Not as beautiful as I am, but he's pretty, and he knows it. Then there's his morality. That overbearing sense of right and wrong. Perhaps I do focus on the trivial, but Edward thinks too much. That's his vanity. And both of us have a fundamental sense of melodrama. We both know how to make a scene everyone would remember even without special vampire memory banks.

He's always been Carlisle and Esme's favorite; probably because he's so perfect. Everything comes so easily to him. A real Renaissance vampire. He rivals Carlisle in confronting the bloodlust. He's almost as strong as Emmett and just as competitive. He's as smart as Jasper, and Jasper's been around a lot longer than he has. His gift is even more amazing than Alice's. And now it seems that contrary to what we always thought, he has as much love inside him as Esme, at least when it comes to his little human. Edward is hard to live up to.

Not that I haven't tried. I went to medical school, too, you know. Summa cum laude at Columbia. I wanted to help Carlisle out, of course, but mostly I wanted to show my family that Edward wasn't the only high-achiever among us.

Don't get me wrong, I love my brother. But he isn't always easy to live with. And he's made it harder for all of us by bringing that girl around. She smells so good. It's been so tempting and so revolting at the same time. None of us ever wanted to be monsters, but the thirst is real. It was unfair of him to make things so much more difficult for us. Just because he is arrogant enough to believe he can resist her scent, what gives him the right to put the rest of us at risk? At first none of us knew what to think. One day he wanted to feed on her; the next thing we knew he's told her everything. About all of us. Then he insisted she stay human. He was willing to put us all in danger for one human girl. Unbelievable.

And then James' coven showed up. Emmett, _my_ Emmett, was willing to risk his life for a human. Just because Edward wanted him to. All Edward had to do to protect her was change her, but no, she got to live because Edward didn't want to take away her humanity. Someday she will get to die because Edward still doesn't want to take away her humanity.

Nobody in this house would dare cross Edward. Alice loves Jasper, but she worships Edward. Even Emmett idolizes him. All Edward had to do was say, "We're leaving Forks," and we were gone. Ironically enough, this time I was in total agreement with him. I'd have been happy never to see the girl again.

I thought my family would go back to normal when we left, but no. Esme grieved. She'd have cried if she could have. Carlisle didn't laugh anymore. Jasper felt guilty for doing what came naturally – what would never have happened if Edward hadn't insisted on bringing a human into a house of vampires. Alice kept raging and moping about it all. She couldn't decide whether to be angry at Edward or to feel sorry for him.

Then Alice saw the girl jump. While, of course, I wasn't happy at the thought of her death – I had nothing against her as a person; I just hated what her presence had done to our family – I admit I was relieved. I thought this whole drama was over. I thought Edward would come home. We could go back to Forks. We could move somewhere else and be together – I thought all I needed to do to save my family was to tell Edward she was gone. But no, he couldn't come back to us. He couldn't think of his family. He had to go running off to Italy.

How could a human affect him like that? He knew she was going to die someday – he'd made sure of it by not changing her. So he decided to punish us all for his own stupid decision. How could I have known he'd do that?

As angry as he makes me, it hurts to think about what would have happened if Edward had died. Esme and Carlisle would never have recovered. If Alice had died – It scares me, to imagine Jasper. I don't believe any of us could have held on to him. To think of him ranging alone with red eyes. It would have been my fault.

And I couldn't do anything to stop any of it. The only one who could stop it was that girl. A human. She saved my brother.

Like everyone else, even the Volturi bent their rules for Edward. They let her live. I know Alice let Aro see a vision of her as a vampire, but I don't think Edward will be as easy to convince. We all know how stubborn Edward can be. And he says _I'm_ tenacious.

Everyone loved her before this. Of course they did, and Edward has impeccable taste. Now that she's risked her human life to save him, she's the hero. Even Emmett told me I was going to have to accept her. She's family, regardless of whether she's human or vampire.

Me? I'm the villain. Esme and Jasper won't speak to me, won't even look at me. The only thing worse than enduring Alice's glare is suffering Edward's fury. And the only thing that keeps Edward in check is her.

Bella.

Last night on the way home from the airport, she was gracious and forgiving. It was that, and not my apology to him, that calmed Edward at all.

And now we're voting. Voting whether or not to make Bella one of us. She thinks she wants this. Does she even know what she's asking? It's not as if she's dying right now. Emmett was dying. What would I have done if he'd been whole when I found him? Could I have let him go on with his human life? What if they'd voted on me? Would Edward have voted no for me? If he'd said no, would it have been because he didn't want me to lose my humanity or because he didn't want _me_? What would I have done if I had had the same choice as Bella?

I don't want to bring the Volturi down on us. Edward, he's willing to risk that. He's still willing to sacrifice us all for this girl. But she says that if we don't want her, she'll give herself to the Volturi. She's as crazy as Alice and Edward. Of course, I know that Edward's the only one who will vote no. There's no doubt about Alice and Esme. Jasper will go with Alice. Emmett can't understand why I feel the way I do; he's ready to join Edward fighting the Volturi guard. Of course, that's just so he can fight, not so he can keep her human. Emmett will vote yes. Even Carlisle will vote yes. He's too afraid of losing Edward again. It doesn't really matter what I say. It's a done deal.

Then I guess I'll tell the truth. I'll vote no, but not because I don't like her. I'll vote no because Edward and I are more alike than he's willing to accept. I'll vote no to save her humanity, even if she doesn't have the sense to want that for herself. I'll vote no to keep her from waking up a monster. I'll vote no because it's the only way Edward, my brother, will allow me to support him right now. I'll vote no because I wish someone had been there to vote no for me. I'll vote no. I hope they'll all understand.


End file.
